


In My Blood

by liltwinflow



Category: TsukiPro the Animation
Genre: M/M, based on a Shawn Mendes song, slightly angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-21
Updated: 2018-06-21
Packaged: 2019-05-26 12:38:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15001049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liltwinflow/pseuds/liltwinflow
Summary: Everyone is talking about it, Dai and Rikka often send worried looks. Speak quietly between themselves when he’s not in the room or ‘paying attention’.Tsubasa kissed him sweetly before they went to bed, telling him not to mind. Everyone slips up, everyone makes mistakes.Not even the blonde’s kiss could take his mind off it.He hated it.(Song drabble based on Shawn Mendes In My Blood)





	In My Blood

 

He never thought he’d see the day where he would be sat on the bathroom floor helplessly. Too exhausted to move, too drained to care or even try. When did his life become something as sad as this? What took a turn for the worst?    
  
He’s got everything he could possibly need, he’s got a band that loves and cares for him- as he does for them, so why? Why does he feel so incredibly low and distressed?   
  
Everyday it’s like the walls are caving in on him, every time he’s enjoying himself - out on stage making fans happy, living his dream - something happens after to throw him back down. Whether it be big or small, and honestly sometimes he feels like giving in.    
  
Sometimes he feels; being an Idol isn’t for him. He can’t manage being in a band, nor could he manage being a solo act. But he can’t give up, not this far in. Not when they mean so much to him, and not when he’s already done it before.    
  
He’s already made an impact on his previous band mates. What would he be labelled as if he suddenly quit SolidS? 

No it’s not him, music is his passion throughout the ups and the downs. He will continue to make music with this band.    
  


//   
  


‘Overwhelmed, and Insecure.’   
  
Is what he would describe himself as by now, it’s not as if many ask “how are you?” now a-days.  Yet it’s always been easy to mask that hasn’t it? Even when he’s not feeling particularly bad.    
  
A simple ‘I’m fine’ or ‘Just thinking over some lyrics’ and he’d get away with it.    
  
Except song lyrics are coming to him harder now, and when they do they’re deeper than intended. The music he wrote wasn’t SolidS style, to the bin they went.    
  
He was losing his ability, slowly failing as a leader. 

  
  
“Just have a drink, and you’ll feel better”

 

Tsubasa had said to him at some point, a small comforting yet concerned smile on his face. “Coffee is your best friend right?”    
  
Shiki often felt the man was too good for him. Would things really get better?    
  
  


“Shiki, are you okay? Do you need help with anything?”   
  
Tsubasa seemed to have gotten used to asking if he were okay rather than hiding his concern. Was that really a good thing though? Did it not mean he’s given his lover reason to worry?    
  
He did need help, it’s crawling in his skin. He needs someone to relieve the pressure. Take off some of the stress, allow him to breathe. He hates to admit it, but he needs a break.    
  
Yet he refrained from telling anyone.    
  


  
He didn’t think there’d be a day where he’d feel anxious looking through his phone, either. But he knows he messed up.    
  
Snapping at an interviewer over a misunderstanding, slipping up during their performance after somehow forgetting the words.    
  
Everyone is talking about it, Dai and Rikka often send worried looks. Speak quietly between themselves when he’s not in the room or ‘paying attention’.    
  
Tsubasa kissed him sweetly before they went to bed, telling him not to mind. Everyone slips up, everyone makes mistakes.    
  
Not even the blonde’s kiss could take his mind off it.     
  
He hated it. 

  
  
He keeps trying, and trying to find a way to chill. To relax, to calm down.    
  
He can’t breathe, he needs somebody who could    
  
“Help me”

  
  
Tsubasa looked over with such speed, that Shiki could have believed something had frightened him.    
  
“Shiki...” 

No further words were needed as Tsubasa stood up walking over to the taller. Soft hands took his slightly rougher ones, leading him to his room.    


  
He didn’t mind being lead or gently pushed down to sit, nor did he mind the blonde sitting facing him on his lap. Those soft hands running through his violet hair, before trailing down his face cupping his cheeks.    
  
It forced Shiki to look at the younger man, his eyes so comforting as he placed a kiss to his lips.    
  
“It’s okay” he started, holding him close. He didn’t need an explanation to know the basis of what was going on. He didn’t need an explanation to tell him, “We’ll work together.”   
  
And Shiki believed him, Tsubasa stays true to his words.    
  
He couldn’t give up, He couldn’t quit. It isn’t in his blood; it isn’t something he would allow himself to do to Tsubasa or his band.    


**Author's Note:**

> So this was practice for Characterisation of the boys as I hope to write more in the future without it being too ooc, if anyone has any ideas, suggestions or requests for a drabble of any sort please do let me know it can be the tsukiuta gang too ^^ ~ Tumblr: liltwinflow


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